Remembering Greyling (a.k.a. My Feline Big Sister)
Three life lessons from the animal who taught me most about how I want to show up in this world.
About two months ago, I lost my big sister.
To be precise, she wasn’t literally my sister (she was a cat) and she wasn’t technically older than me (although she was 100+ in cat years).
But saying goodbye to her still felt like losing a big sis. That was the kind of energy she brought to my life (and my whole family’s) for about 25 (human) years.
I’ve been a little hesitant to write this, because there’s no way I could sum up everything she meant to me in one letter (if I could ever put it all into words). She was, by far, the animal who’s had the biggest impact on me in my 30 years on Earth so far.
With that said, it still felt important to do a little writing about her here. So, here are three big life lessons I learned from Lingy (that’s one of my fam’s many, many nicknames for her – and one of the more normal-sounding ones haha.)
1. Some Love Stories Start Out Rocky (And That’s Okay)
A few weeks after Lingy passed away, I remembered back to the first few years we had together.
Greyling came to our family when I was about 5 or 6, because my mom saw her on a TV special from our local humane society showing pets in dire need of adoption.
When Grey first came to our house, she was so skinny and malnourished she looked like a big grey rat. We got her back to good health pretty soon after that—but the funny thing is, for about the first 1-2 years she was with us, her and I didn’t get along at all.
In fact, as a kid, I kinda hated her for the first little while there haha. She was feisty and prone to nipping at people if you rubbed her the wrong way, and I did NOT care for that. You could say it was a clash of two strong personalities, with neither wanting to bend to the other. So we really were at odds for those first couple years 😂
And then – and I can’t remember exactly how or when this happened – the walls somehow came down. From that point on, we were basically inseparable pals (and emotional rocks for each other) for the next 23 years.
Lesson: Sometimes the best friendships don’t have the best beginnings. But sometimes you need to push through the rough start to get to the deep connection on the other side.
2. Don’t Ever, Ever Take No Sh*t From Nobody
Lingy was famous among our extended fam and friends for always being the boss in any situation. It didn’t matter who else was involved – you didn’t mess with Lingy, or else you paid the price.
Example: She once chased a burly, 6’5” contractor—and made him sprint down our hallway like a scared little schoolboy—just because she didn’t like him walking around our house. (Lingy didn’t trust anybody until they earned it.)
Her no-nonsense-ness also applied to our other pets, too. She would stare down (or smack down) anyone from our smallest kitty to our biggest dog (we’ve had a lot of pets in my family, haha).
She even scratched our little dog, Franco, so bad he had to go to the vet a couple times. (Eventually, he submitted to doing things her way and they became great cuddle buddies.)
The bottom line was, Lingy had her boundaries. Yes, she was a cuddle bug who purred like a motorboat and loved to sleep under the covers. But she was also unf*ckwithable.
That was one of the ways she inspired my whole fam. Through knowing her, we all aspired to cultivate her level of don’t-test-me-or-else-ness. And over time, we slowly got the hang of it. (Not gonna lie, it feels good.)
Lesson: You can learn boundary-setting from anybody (even cats). Life feels better—and you set a better example for others—when you put it into practice.
3. Everything Is Impermanent—Except Love
In the course of Greyling’s lifetime, we had about five other pets who passed away before her.
I have no doubt that Grey was a spiritually conscious being, and these were just some of the moments when it most shone through. She always had a noble way of comforting our other pets before they left us. And after each one died, she kept on trucking as the loving, protective, affectionate grey lady we’d all come to rely on.
Even as her own health declined in the last few years, she still had the same old-soul, Zen energy—and the same (sometimes annoying) habits of stepping on all of my fam’s heads while trying to slip her way under the covers, or carrying slippers around the house as a “prey” gift for us, or digging her claws into our shirts while getting a particularly good pickup & back scratch.
In other words, she never stopped loving us the way she did right after we brought her home from the humane society all those years ago (excluding myself for those first couple years haha).
(As a side note, I also think this was also because Lingy had a tough life before she found us, and she never stopped radiating gratitude for the safe, comfortable home she had with us.)
To me, this was an example of what happens when anybody (human or animal) untaps the spring of unconditional love inside us: It just keeps flowing for as long as the tap stays open. And Lingy kept it open for the entire time we knew her.
Lesson: Pets come and go. People come and go. Things change, and times change. But the love we share with each other can last through all of it – and even after we’re gone.
In Conclusion…
There’s a whole lot more that I could say about Lingy. Including how she was the best study buddy I ever had, always sat in my lap when I first started meditating, and almost gave us all heart attacks when she stepped onto the window ledge at our favorite hotel in Vancouver. But I’m hoping you get the idea.
In human years, Greyling was about 25, so her death wasn’t out-of-the-blue. We all knew we were on bonus time with her for the last five years or so. The nice thing is, we got as much time as we possibly could have had with her before we had to say goodbye. And the cool thing is, I now feel like the energy she brought to my life is even stronger than it was before. I guess that’s the power of a soul connection.
🐈⬛ ❤️ 💫
On a final note, you might have noticed that this newsletter is coming to you a week late. That’s because I’m shifting to an irregular publishing rhythm with this Substack. My whole M.O. with online writing now is that I write what I want, when I feel like it, and I’m bringing that same organic approach to these emails. So, don’t necessarily expect another one next Sunday—but I’ll definitely be back again soon. In the meantime, feel free to check out my past issues here!
Until next time,
–Riley
P.S. Are there any topics you’d like to see me cover in a future newsletter? If so, let me know in the replies. I’m always open to questions and suggestions.
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