How to Break Free From Overpowering Emotions
A surprisingly helpful tip I learned from a book I'm reading for my 9-5.
I’m reading a book for work right now called “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership.” (If you’re into exploring consciousness and making the most of what you find there, I highly recommend checking it out.)
This week, I want to tell you about a big idea that struck a chord with me when I went through Chapter 3: “Feeling All Feelings.”
Since you’re reading this, I bet you’re pretty good at handling the standard emotional ups and downs we all go through each day.
But if you’re like me, you probably still experience the odd emotional tidal wave that takes a little longer to clear out of your system – am I right?
Well, since I started applying this idea, I’ve been able to process and release those big emotional waves ~10x faster than I was before. And if you put this idea into practice, I bet it’ll do the same for you.
Sound good? K, let’s get it.
The Big Idea: Matching Your Emotions With Your Body 💡
One way or another, most of us are taught to keep our big emotions to ourselves. We live in a society where physically expressing big emotions is generally frowned upon.
That’s some fucked up shit – and it’s probably hurting you. Here’s why:
Humans are like kettles. Emotions bubble up in us just like hot water boils up in a kettle, but when a kettle starts to blow off steam – and, if you have one of those funky old-fashioned ones, makes that high-pitched whistling sound – nobody scowls at it or calls it a “bad kettle.”
See what I mean?
Now, imagine what would happen if a kettle had no opening to let out excess steam and make that funny whistling sound. Answer: It would explode. (Which, as a side note, is what a lot of us are prone to doing when we try to follow society’s “keep your big emotions to yourself” rule – and eventually just can’t hold ‘em anymore.)
So, here’s the solution, according to the authors of the book (who have trained hundreds of CEOs on using it):
“Matching is the key. This occurs by asking yourself, “If this sensation could make a sound, what would it be?” and “If this sensation could move, how would it do that?” The body releases naturally when you vocalize and let it move to match energy.”
In other words, the solution is to let your body act like a kettle – just make whatever sounds and movements feel natural based on the feelings that are pumping through your body. Sounds simple, right?
Well, there’s one important clarification. Consider this example:
“If you call a coworker and complain about your boss and your performance review and talk about how afraid you are that you’re going to get fired, you are actually recycling the feelings and that won’t help release them at all. You’ll get stuck in thought-generated, drama-based emotion.”
So, don’t be fooled into thinking that simply talking about your emotions is always enough to clear them out. Remember: Kettles don’t talk, they vent. Babies and animals are another good example of this:
“Beings who aren’t encumbered by the ability to think obsessively about feelings simply release them. Babies cry, dogs growl, and cats hiss. They naturally match experience with expression and release emotion. Babies and animals don’t hold on to feelings. They let them go.”
The Last Big Obstacle: Your Fear of Looking Like a Weirdo 🥴
So, now you have an expert-recommended tool that can legitimately help you process overpowering emotions 10x faster. The only question is: Are you going to give it a try?
If you focus on how you might look to someone who sees you pretending to act like a human kettle, my guess is “probably not” 😅
So, for one thing, don’t feel like you have to bust this out in public. I’ve been alone for the first few times I’ve tried it, and so far it’s led to:
Doing quick punches into a pillow to vent anger
Making mid-air pushing and sweeping motions to clear out overwhelm
Unleashing my old karate kiai (a short, loud yell) to release tension
Some deep, forceful exhaling through my mouth to relieve inner pressure
Now all of these are added to my toolbox of skills to bust out the next time an emotional tidal wave sweeps over me. None of them might look (or sound) particularly normal – but I’d rather be emotionally healthy than “normal.” Are ya with me?
Until next week!
–Riley
P.S. For hands-on, personalized coaching on your personal growth, career growth, or copywriting, schedule a 1:1 coaching call.
Well worth the read, Ry. Good advice!